


Stag Night

by OneLittleBadWolf



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, F/M, Human Doctor (Doctor Who), Loving Marriage, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-01-15 10:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12319200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneLittleBadWolf/pseuds/OneLittleBadWolf
Summary: Jonathan McCrimmon is about to be married. His best friend and best man wants him to have one last hoorah before he ties the knot. Will Jonathan like what he sees or has Jack made a huge mistake.





	1. Chapter 1

Stag Night

Jonathan watched and laughed as his friends drank and plied him with alcohol. It wasn’t even affecting him. He was too happy about what he was going to be doing the next day. He was marrying the most gorgeous woman in the universe. He couldn’t believe how incredibly lucky he was. He had no clue why precious Rose Tyler, soon to be his Rose McCrimmon, chose him. 

“Not like I have to ask, seeing that sappy yet smitten look on your face, but…have Rose on the mind?”

His best friend and best man, Jack Harkness asked tearing him from his thoughts. 

“I wasn’t thinking about Rose, well at least not directly.” Jon said with a slight scowl. “I was thinking how sodding lucky I am to be marrying her tomorrow. I know, I know. The confirmed bachelor tying himself down.” Chuckling to himself about what a grumpy old man he used to be before Rose. 

“Not at all, I am more than ecstatic that you finally found someone, wish you approved of sharing though” Jack said elbowing him lightly. 

“No,” was Jon’s only response. 

Jack put his hands up in mock defense. 

“No, worries, Rose is just as selfish as you are. Anyways, there is one more surprise for you. It being your last night as a bachelor, I wanted to give you one last chance to sew your wild oats.”

“Jack….” Jon’s anger started to simmer. “My wild oats have been sewn and the only oats left, wild or otherwise, are for Rose. So whatever you have planned I don’t want any part of” his voice was firm and commanding. 

“I promise you that you will love it, and it is not what you are thinking” Jack said as he pulled him off of his bar stool. 

“I am telling you the only woman that I want to see naked is the one I am marrying tomorrow.” Jon almost growled. 

He was still being led to a room offside the bar. There were whistles and jeers coming from behind him. His anger was seconds from boiling over. 

“I promise that you will regret it if you don’t.” And with that Jack shoved him into the room and locked him in there. 

“Dammit Harkness! Let me out of here!”

His yells fell on deaf ears, and no one came to his rescue. He skulked over to a large wingback chair that was in the room and sat down with his arms crossed. He was not the sex crazed fool that Jack was. He didn’t understand the need to rut anything that walked. He has had sex in the past and it was enjoyable but the number was limited to one hand. Rose wasn’t even on that list yet and he only had eyes and libido for her

“HMMM, So I gather you don’t want to be here.” A sultry but almost forced voice spoke. 

“Whatever gave you that clue? The yelling or the complete lack of interest.”

It sounded as if the woman tried to stifle a laugh. Oh this was going to be fun he thought rolling his eyes.

“I bet I could change your mind, I am told I am very proficient at making dreams come true.” 

Jon paused, he told Rose that all the time. That she was all his dreams come true. The woman’s voice still sounded forced as if she were trying to hide her accent or something.  
It was too dark in the room to see anything really but vague outlines unless you were right close to something or someone. He could see where the woman was standing but kept his eyes averted. He didn’t even want to see what she was or was not wearing. 

There was movement from the unknown woman, she was slowly making her way towards him. The sway of her hips sparked a tingle of familiarity. Jack better not have hired someone they knew to do this. It was going to be humiliating for both of them when he chucked her out if he had. She walked closer but kept her face hidden with what looked like a red hooded cape. Her scent wafted around him as she circled the chair. That tingle of familiarity sparked again. 

“I am being rewarded very well by providing you this service. You know a girl has got to make a living.”  
She told him. Her accent almost detectable now that she was closer to him. She reached out her hand to touch him but he was prepared. He grabbed her wrist before she could and then it all clicked into place. 

“I did not say you could touch me.”

He stood up swiftly, corralling the woman into his arms and pressed her against the nearest wall. 

She gasped at the sudden movement and squeaked as she hit the wall and her breath escaped her.  
Jon had no doubt in his mind. He now knew who Jack had gotten to do this for his stag night, though her cloak still covered her face. 

He lowered his mouth to her ear. “Is this what you wanted? You wanted me to respond to you?” 

His voice was dark and husky as he pressed his hips against hers. A moan escaped her and sent a wave of desire to his thickening cock.  
He felt her hips arc towards him. It took all his strength to push himself away from the woman he had pressed up against a wall.  
He walked away and adjusted his trousers to relieve the pressure on his growing erection and sat once again on the wingback chair. 

“Dance!” he commanded to the woman still trying to catch her breath.

She stilled visibly, became stiff at the command. 

“Now!” he barked at her. 

She jolted away from the wall, poised herself and slowly sauntered over to him.

“Can I touch you now?” asking and still trying to disguise her voice. 

He gave a tight nod in ascent. She placed a hand on his shoulder and walked around him again. Moving her hand up the side of his neck and running a finger along the shell of his ear. He shivered at the touch. His ears have always been an erogenous zone for him. She ran her hand along his short cropped hair and then down his other side not missing a playful pull of his other ear. She slowly moved to stand in front of him and turned her back to him. She slowly untied the cloak and lowered the hood off of her golden hair and the cloak fell to the floor. She slowly turned around and her beauty took his breath away. Of course his Rose always left him breathless.

She was wearing what looked like a hand maidens dress. The red skirt hit her mid-calf and the black laced corset pushed her gorgeous breasts almost out of the white peasant top. He had never seen so much of Rose and currently wished that his trousers were bigger on the inside. He watched as her hands ran up her body and lifted her hair off of her neck. The movement caused one of her breast to try and free itself from its confinement. He could see the pink edge of her areola that matched her decadent lips perfectly. He wondered if another set of lips matched also. She was bathed in a golden light. Where it had come from, Jon didn’t know and honestly didn’t care. 

Rose dropped her hair back down and slowly ran her fingers down her neck and over her breasts and squeezed them gently and she moaned at the touch or was that him. She continued her way down and stopped at the corset ties. She slowly pulled the strings and loosened the confining garment until it fell to the floor. She swayed back and forth and her skirt was next to be discarded. Jon nearly swallowed his tongue. She was in red and black lace stockings being held by garters and belt. A scrap of glistening nothing covered her pussy from his probing eyes.  
Okay maybe she didn’t want to marry him because it felt like she was trying to kill him.

Her hands explored further down her body and her fingers grazed where her arousal was most evident. Her head flew back in pleasure. Jon growled and almost threw himself at her. He was barely keeping the control on his arousal and passion. He wanted to grab her and pull her to him and impale that gloriously wet pussy onto his throbbing cock. His hands gripped the arms of the chair to keep from doing just that. 

She turned her back to him once again and he was graced with the absolute beauty of her perfectly shaped arse. He wanted to smack it and grab it and bite it. It was perfect just like the rest of her. Her arse was a worthy distraction as she threw the peasant top from her. She turned to face him and once again Jon was stunned by her beauty. He called her name without his volition and she walked towards him on stilettos that he really hadn’t paid any mind to until they were practically the only thing she was wearing. 

When she was close enough she lifted her leg and set her stiletto clad foot in between his legs, softly grazing his crotch as she did so. 

What was left of his self-control became match paper that had thoroughly went up in smoke. His hands flew to her thigh to touch the creamy white skin, Ran his hands down her stockings and back up again, venturing ever close to her gorgeous heat. Unsnapping the clips to her stockings, he slowly even painstakingly rolled her right one down and removed it along with her shoe. He leaned in and kissed and nipped at her inner thigh. He watched her tremble and he could smell her arousal as clearly as he felt his own. Lightly swatting her leg she removed it and lifted the other one for his perusal. Providing the same treatment to her left leg he motioned for her to put that one back on the floor also. 

He pulled her garter belt down and she quickly stepped out of it. He could only stare at her beauty. She was an absolute vision standing before him completely bare. He was near speechless.  
Rose however, decided to keep up the charade. 

“It’s a shame you’re getting married tomorrow. When a man looks at a woman like that, you can’t help but melt. She must be one lucky girl, to have a gorgeous man like you.” She nearly whispered as she walked closer to him and straddled his lap.

Her breasts were eye level and one bend of the knee, she would be grinding into a very prominent erection. 

“Lucky, yeah, she could think herself lucky. Don’t know why, but she could. I am the lucky one. That someone as special as her could fall for this old, broken, daft looking soldier is beyond me. But I am taking it and running with it, forever." His vows in a nutshell. 

She swiftly bent her head down and ravished his mouth with her own. 

His hands moved to rest on her hips and his tongue slipped from her mouth to taste the most tantalizing morsel that ever graced his lips. Her hands gripped his shoulders as he sucked her nipple into his mouth. She moaned and her legs bent and rubbed against him causing him to jerk up into her. 

“Oh Jon.” Rose cried out as he ground into her. 

He was past all pretending and wanted to see his gorgeous girl writhe in the throes of passion.

“Rose, are you sure? Tomorrow night, we can wait.” Pooling all his self control onto that broken sentence and what may happen next. 

She ground against him again.

“Jon, my Doctor, if you don’t fuck me right now, I may burst before tomorrow gets here. Please…I need you." 

That was his tipping point. He pulled her flush against him and hard down on his erection. He groaned as he latched on to the sweet spot on her neck where her pulse was fluttering like a hummingbird. He needed to reign himself in or else this would be over far more quickly than he would like. 

Rose was trying to rid him of his jacket, though without much luck. He finally removed his hands from her hips and took his jacket off as she grabbed the hem of his jumper and pulled it over his head. 

Her soft, hot hands roamed his bare chest. Leaning her head to him so her lips could kiss and nibble his skin.

He grabbed her arse in both hands and quickly stood up with her. She yelped at the sudden movement and dug her fingers into his shoulders. He sat her down on to the chair and began removing his trousers. Rose batted his hands away. 

“No, let me.” She all but growled. 

It seemed like an excruciating amount of time for Rose to unbutton him and pull down his zip. His trousers fell in a puddle to the floor around his ankles. His thoughts didn’t linger long on that thought, hell they didn’t linger at all as soon as two warm hands entered his pants and squeezed his arse. 

“You really don’t understand how long I’ve wanted to do that…among other things. But to squeeze and pinch and nip at that perfectly sculpted arse. It drove me spare some nights.” 

Then much quicker than his trousers, his pants were around his ankles. Somewhere he lost control and needed to gain it back. With her gazing at his hard bobbing cock like she was, he seriously doubted he was going to. Her small delicate fingers took hold of his throbbing member. She leaned her head forward and licked the wetness that had gathered, off the tip of his cock. He would deny it to anyone but Rose that she made him whimper. He growled however when her hot mouth took him in sucked and licked like it were the last lollipop she would ever have. His left hand flew to her head and entangled his fingers in her hair. His right caressed her cheek as she sucked him off. He didn’t want the first time coming with her to be in her mouth, no matter how glorious it felt. He pulled back and his cock slipped out with a pop. Rose looked up at him, her eyes were dark with want and she licked her lips as if she had tasted something extremely delicious and wanted more.

“Later my love, I want to be inside of you. I want my first time with you to have your walls pulsing around me. To have your pleasure in sync with mine. “

He lifted her off the chair and sat himself down on it and beckoned her to him. 

“I wanted you to be in a soft luxurious bed surrounded by candlelight and soft music as I worshipped every inch of your gorgeous body.” She placed a finger on his lips as she straddled him in the chair. 

“I don’t need that. I only need you, only wanted you. The other stuff will be nice, but right now, you and me, its perfect.” 

She grabbed hold of his cock and positioned it to her sopping folds and enveloped him in one swift move. His arms wrapped around her as she gave them time to both adjust to the overwhelming feeling. Slowly and gently she began to rock. The tight hot grip around his engorged arousal loosened and tightened with each movement she made. He didn’t know how long he was going to be able to last. It had been so long and she felt so damn good. 

He could tell that it wasn’t enough for her. She didn’t have the leverage she needed to go any faster or harder for that matter. This slow rocking was torturous to them both. Jon glanced around the room, look for something that would be more convenient for them. He spotted an old wooden table that looked to be sturdy enough. So Jon grabbed Rose’s arse and lifted her as she gasped and squealed when he moved them to the table. He ran his hand across the table top to be sure it was smooth. God forbid he let her get splinters their first time. He sat her on the table and he was right it was a perfect height. 

“Good thinking.” She moaned as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him deeper into her. He was done with slow and steady. He began to move quickly, plunging deeper and harder into her. He was thankful that the table was a against a wall, because it would have been moving across the floor. 

“Yes, Jon. Fuck, that feels so damn good. Don’t stop, please. Just…uhhh.” Her words became incoherent as Jon skillfully fucked her.

He was getting close, his hand slipped between them and began rubbing the little button of pleasure that was sure to send her over the edge before him. He felt her convulsing around him and her nails dug into his arse, spurring him on even more. Her lips found his neck and as she orgasmed she bit down on the sensitive flesh that was there, sending him right over the edge with her. She fell back onto the table, sweat glistening all over her body. He leaned down and licked from her collar bone to her ear. 

“That was fantastic, you were fantastic. Though you better be glad that love bite you gave me will be covered by the tuxedo. I don’t fancy a smack tomorrow.” Rose giggled and laved the bite with her tongue. 

“How will you ever explain that to the Mrs., tomorrow evening? “ Jon growled and nibbled on her ear. 

“I’ll just tell her the big bad wolf bit me and then proceed to devour her myself.” He chuckled and bit at her neck. Lightly though, she was wearing a strapless gown tomorrow. That much he knew. 

“I don’t want to go back to my mum’s. I want to stay with you.” Rose said as she nuzzled his neck.

“Believe me, I don’t want to leave your arms ever again. However if I want to continue to have the ability to make love to you again, I have to send you to your mums. Just one night. Not even twenty four hours and we can be in each others arms for eternity.”


	2. The Wedding Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are they getting cold feet?

Chapter 2  
15 hours later…

“So did you like the surprise? It was her idea really. I was more than happy to go along with it. Wish I had thought of it. My idea would included me as a stripper too. ” Jack rambled on as they were getting dressed for the wedding.

Jon just glared at him. He was more nervous then he cared to admit. He took his blue jumper off and went to grab his white vest.  
“So, Jon. If you didn’t have a good time last night. What is that on your neck?” Not that he had to ask, because you could tell it was clearly a bite. 

“None, of your damn business Jack. Now hand me my oxford.” 

Jack looked at him wearily as he grabbed the button-up. It couldn’t have gone that badly. He was still getting married today. 

“Hey, Doc. I’m sorry. I should have told Rose no. I wasn’t planning on getting a stripper, I wanted to but I knew that wouldn’t be your thing. So when Rose came to me with the idea, I thought it was perfect.”

Jon groaned. “It was perfect Jack. Well, after I realized it was Rose. It’s just that Rose has seen the whole package of this daft old man. What is stopping her from realizing that I am not good enough for her?” 

He hated being so damn insecure but when it came to Rose, he never felt up to par. She was a flawless humanitarian who cared about everyone. He was a war ridden old man who has killed more than he will ever admit, even to himself. How can she love that?

“You stupid wanker. Rose loves you with everything she is. She doesn’t care that you’re older than her, that you did things for king and country that you would like to forget. She doesn’t even care that you have ginormous ears and nose. I quite think she likes them. I think she knows you better than you know yourself. She would absorb the universe for you. And if you don’t know that than you are dumber than I ever thought you could be." Jack huffed then continued.

"You know what you don’t deserve her, because you don’t give her damn near enough credit for putting up with your sorry ass. Now you need to take her hand say your I do’s and run. You two are soulmates, so don’t you dare go fucking this up because of your self-deprecating ways.” 

Jon was stunned. Jack had never spoke to him like that before. No matter how much he needed it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to deck him or hug him for being so blunt. Neither.

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Both men burst out in laughter. A knock at the door sobered them both. In walked Rose’s father Pete. 

“You guys okay?” Looking suspiciously at the pair. 

“We’re fine sir, just finishing getting dressed.” Jon replied as he tied his bowtie. 

“It’s Pete, might as well call me by my name. You are going to be my son-in-law.” He said like he still couldn’t believe it. 

“Okay sir…I mean Pete.” Jon said giving a half smile.

Pete gave a smile too. Tension released itself from Jon’s shoulders when he saw this. Rose’s parents never really seemed to like him. It didn’t help being fifteen years older than their daughter and only seven years younger than her father. 

“Well gentlemen, just wanted to let you know you have about fifteen minutes till it starts. So my wife told me to tell you to get it in gear.”

He laughed and walked out leaving the two men to finish getting ready. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amy watched Rose try and hold it together. The moment her mum walked out to straighten one last detail, Rose fell apart.

“Breath Rose, you have to breath. You're gonna pass out. “ Amy said to her hysterical, hyperventilating best friend. 

“I can’t. You wont believe what I did last night. It could ruin everything.” Rose said in between pants. 

Amy’s eyes went wide “What did you do? You didn’t sleep with someone else did you?” She asked. 

Rose started to get herself under control. 

“No, I slept with him. It was fantastic. I mean I have never had sex like that before. It was amazing. But what if he doesn’t want me now. He got the milk already why buy the cow. Oh my gosh I’m gonna lose him.” 

Amy huffed in exasperation. “No you’re not you bleedin’ plonker. If it was as good as you say it is then you probably ensured your marriage not ruined it. Jonathan loves you more than life itself. I have never seen anyone as happy as him when he is with you, except maybe my own Rory. There is no way he is not marrying you. Of course if he doesn’t. I will cut off his bollucks and feed them to him. He has no worries of that though because he LOVES you. He would die more than thirteen times for you. So get your head out of your arse, fix your make-up and get ready to walk down that aisle to the man of your dreams."

"Bloody hell, I am so glad this is almost over and they'll be happily married...." Amy mumbled to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fluff and nothing but the fluff.

Epilogue  
4 hours later…  
“Mrs. McCrimmon, I want to tell you that you look absolutely stunning. When you walked down the aisle, it took my breath away. I thought I might pass out.” He told her as they walked hand in hand to the flat that was now theirs. 

She smiled brightly and the tongue that drove him to so many nights of distraction touched the corner of her mouth. 

“I thought I was sleeping. Seeing you looking dead sexy in that tux. I could have sworn it was one of my dreams come to life. Though good thing it wasn’t. I think my Nan would have had a heart attack if I tore off your outfit.” He looked down into her eyes with the exact look she was hoping for.

As they got to the door, he unlocked it and swung it open. Catching her arm before she walked in, he lifted her into his arms and her arms automatically wrapped around his neck. He carried her over the threshold. He didn’t put her down until their bedroom and laid her on the newly ordered King size bed. 

He hoped that it wasn’t too cliché but he had red, pink, white, and yellow rose petals scattered on the bed and around the floor. The symbolism they held, and what each color meant he hoped was conveyed. 

“Make love to me husband.” Rose said her voice husky with want. 

“With much pleasure, wife.” 

Jon’s Vows:  
Infinity is not enough to show my love for thee  
Forever is not long enough for my life to spend with thee  
Time has no meaning when you are by my side  
We’ll reach the edge of space before I can move my gaze from your sight.  
The brightest star will never compare to the smile you bestow  
No moon, no sun, no planet could fill the hole that your love has filled.   
You are my universe, so believe me when I say I will love thee yesterday, tomorrow and for always. 

 

Rose’s Vows  
My first breath was when you touched my hand  
My first thought was he had to be the one  
My vision began when I looked at you  
The first words I heard were “Good, I found you. Now run.”   
I didn’t know I wasn’t living until you came to me.   
My life finally began when I met you.


End file.
